Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Part 8- Loving Oneself Unconditionally

If you are new to this blog, please start from the beginning on this teaching. Scroll down to the June 28th entry and start from Part One! Enjoy

Part 8
This is my story of how I used a very simple process to love myself into wholeness.

Several years ago I faced my wounded inner child.
Like many folks, I have done a lot of work (therapy) with my inner child, my wounded child, the part of myself that experienced hurts and wounds as a child and who, of course, acted out from time to time, producing behaviors in the adult me. Usually we discover that these negative or fearful behaviors are very hard to change, because the root, or source of the behaviors lies in an experience that we had when we were little. For example, an adult who often feels abandoned or alone, might have experienced being deserted by a parent or a friend when they were young. Freedom comes as we allow our inner child to be healed, to experience again the charged past situation and see that our divine will heal that old memory and remove the source of our charged adult behavior. For me, I had experienced much healing for my child, and I felt it was time that my inner wounded child became my sacred child. It was time for us to be made whole.
So I took for a model (very loosely) the Lord's prayer. And instead of praying it to a God “out there”, I prayed and sang and said it as a mighty anthem or hymn to my sacred child within. I was stating my love for myself, my unconditional and child-like love for myself as I created the words to say to my sacred child. This is what I wrote:

 My prayer to my sacred child.

O sacred child who lies within,
Blessed be your Holy name. (singing)
I give you ascendancy in my life today,
and I leave ego far behind.
I open myself to receive provisions, necessities, blessings and wisdom
from you and the Universe.
I intend to harm no one today,
and if one harms me,
they are my teacher, and I love them.
O sacred child who lies within,
blessed be your holy name (singing)
May all grace and love flow to you today.
May all grace and love flow to ALL today thru me.

I said and sang these verses to my child every day for months, and I still say this prayer to myself frequently. At some point, after I had said these words for many months, I realized that my inner child was indeed, my sacred child and that we were whole, we were one. The verses represent the intention and completion of the unconditional love for myself. In my life, I have always thought that there was something “wrong” with me. I did not look right, or I did not feel like others, or I was “different” than others. Some of these feelings brought me in touch with my transgender nature. The work with my sacred child raised and transformed these thoughts and feelings to a grateful and wonderful appreciation of the grace of God and the Universe.......and yes, the grace of myself, just as I am!

I realized that loving myself unconditionally means that I love and accept myself with all of my hurts, and fears, and even.....weird behaviors! For many years I did not love myself because I was waiting to be perfect! This is a dualistic trap which insures self-misery. My poem to my inner child was the crowning piece I needed to love myself unconditionally and to completely move out of the space of looking at myself as somehow “incomplete”. The union of the Divine and our selves means that our sense of “lack” or our sense of “need” becomes transformed into the last line of my poem. (Let all peace and love flow to all today through me.) The love I have for myself is the same love by which I love others......unconditionally. Once I found the exquisite taste of loving myself, I saw how to continue to extend this lovingkindness to others!
At least for me, loving others unconditionally was not possible until I loved myself that way.

Over the past several parts, I have explained 3 processes by which to love ourselves.
  1. Be aware of our feelings, and CATCH ourselves when we are critical, and practice giving ourselves a break.......and love!
  2. Practicing a meditation, like mine with the “judge” or others, which allow your right brain to open new pathways in your brain, so loving yourself becomes natural.
  3. Singing, talking, or chanting to those subborn aspects of ourselves that need our assistance in loving and supporting ourselves.

I will share another way to love ourselves later, but next I will start explaining the benefits of learning to love ourselves.

Thank you all for reading this and please leave comments or questions. Be very blessed today.

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