Sunday, July 7, 2013

Loving Oneself Unconditionally- Part 4

Part 4
The Authentic Self

If you ask yourself, "Who am I?" what is your answer? "I'm a mom." "I'm a teacher." "I live in New Mexico." We really do not answer the question, of who we really are, but we identify ourselves by what we do, what our social station is, or how we see our function in life. We can't answer who we are, because many of us have never really gone that deep within ourselves to know.
Your authentic self is the you that is free of cultural control or familial expectations. It is the part of you not defined by your job, function or role. It is your absolute inner core. It is all the things that are uniquely yours and need expression, rather than what you have believed you should be.
At our inner core are some wonderful dreams and wishes for ourselves and the world. There are also fears, woundedness and sorrow. All of our inner core can be accessed by allowing all of our true self to be known. When we allow our true selves to be known, we find that within our core is the spark of divinity. This is where real transformation can take place.

Many of us are scared of knowing our authentic self. The woundedness that we believe is there scares us, and we want the pain to stay hidden, deep down where no one can see it and where we might be able to forget it. When we learn to love ourselves we are able to gently and lovingly resurrect that pain so that it can be transformed into wisdom and healing by our experience.
It's our ability to embrace vulnerability that allows us to experience true authenticity, and thus true freedom and power in life. This process also allows us to access those wonderful dreams for ourselves and the world.

Fragmented vs. Wholeness
Before we are made whole and healed and totally in love with ourselves we can observe a fragmentation of our inner world. We see ourselves in parts. We see our woundedness thru our experiences as a child, or in various past or present relationships, or traumas that we have suffered. Sometimes we even name those parts of ourselves. For example we may refer to the experience of our woundedness as our “inner child”. We may name the parts of ourselves that bother us or cause us suffering by names such as “judge” or “saboteur” . We say to ourselves, “my judge told me I blew it!” or “My saboteur made me walk away from that relationship”. I actually think that doing this is very helpful to us because it specifically identifies those parts of ourselves that desperately need our love.
The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”
— Rumi

As we learn to tenaciously love all those parts of ourselves, they will be transformed into sacred space within us. They become healed and then are made whole so there is no separation between us and them. This spiritual process is called “clearing” by some people, or “inner healing” by others, but results in our freedom from the “hurts” of the past. This freedom allows us to make good decisions for our life in the present. It also clears us to recognize charged emotions like fear or anger or disappointment, so we can make decisions free from them.

Next Post-- an example of the clearing process is revealed.

Please feel free to leave comments or questions in the comments section.  Thank you.

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