And my life was dull and uneventful until......
Decisions…decisions. I was invited to my 40th year reunion of my High School class today. Ed invited me and he was one of my closest friends in HS along with Jack and John, who will be there also. Ed, John and I were the founders of "Wino weekend" a time of extreme debauchery and fun back in 1975, or was it 1974? Jack taught me to play tennis, so well that my game, after not playing for 30 years, is still salvageable. I would really love to see them and renew old friendships with others too, but several things give me pause.
1. I do not have anyone to go with me so I would be doing it single, and most of the people will have their spouses there with them.
2. As a transgender person, I will appear different, which means I will be examined, checked out, and basically looked at as an oddity. Now I am used to that, except that why travel 3000 miles so it can happen again?
3. Christian music was streaming on the website for the reunion. Enough said.
And then I thought how often transgender people may not attend or take part in events because they may receive unequal or unusual treatment. Sometimes we just have to endure feeling uncomfortable, and maybe out of place, and make the most of it.
Alas, to not go is giving into some sort of internalized transphobia, in that I am letting the reactions of others, or the opinions and feelings of others decide how I should act. By not going I am letting my fear drive my life, and I have pledged NOT to do that.
So I think I will go. And I will have a good time. If I have to shut down the bar alone I shall have a good time. I will do my best to talk to everyone and inquire after their lives and see what common ground we may find. I may even try to hum a few bars of the Christian music.
Hmmmm… Should I wear the button to the reunion I keep on my bureau for special occasions? It says “Do you think my dick is too long for this skirt?”